Probably you know that yourself, if you’re on the street and you see a hot blonde, all possible excuses come up why you just can not approach her RIGHT NOW. For example:
- She has got a boyfriend!
- She looks much prettier then I! I look not so good as she…
- I don’t feel good today…
- I have no time!
…. and even 1000 more!
Once I have the perfect body, then I’ll approach women! Then I feel STRONG and CONFIDENT, instead of stuttering to talk to girls!
For a long time of my life, I kept these excuses to run away from women. But even as I polished my appearance by doing fitness like a madman, and pimping my style, this insurmountable hurdle remained to get closer to women.
The FEAR of being REJECTED or being laughed at the people who observed the approach and returing to your friends without even a number captured me completely to behave idle and intimidated.
But the day where everything changes came. I picked up all my courage and faced my deepest fears. I was head over heels in love with this girl, I ran behind for over half a year and NOW I had the balls to approach her. I did it and you know what? It was not as bad as I had imagined!
Even if the process of getting her as girlfriend ultimately ended with a rejection, I was looking for any possibility until this point, to approach women. When this first hurdle was mastered, the next problem already occurred.
I could now simply approach women, but somehow no longer conversations were going to arise. So I educated myslef about topics such as body language & rhetoric, communication and NLP, because I thought, I would be more entertaining, fill awkward conversation breaks and represent myself in a better way.
However, these competencies couldn’t solve the problem completely. I had the idea that it had to be something deeper, that it had to do something with my inside. Because I heard again and again the sentence: “Be yourself!”, “Be authentic!”.
Somehow, I lost my path and had tried to dissemble to please others by any means. I had learned techniques to be more charismatic, sell myslef better and cooler then I actually was. But again and again, that bubble has burst, because women feel immediately, when you aren’t authentic anymore.
BOOOM! Exposed! Firstly, feeling this truth was really difficult to handle!
I noticed that everytime, when I am approaching a foreign person, especially women, this gravel-feeling in the stomach comes up. When you feel and accept it, the talk entry is a little bit easier. When I spoke to women, I felt these things increasingly more consciously.
Because if you have eventually mastered the loose authentic conversation entry, have collected dozens of numbers and went on some dates, the whole thing becomes boring. I realized that even more was behind it, because why did I had to approach women?
Therefore, more and more questions arised:
- What do I REALLY want from women or man?
- What FEELING do I hope to get?
- What exactly am I SEEKING?
- Do I only want to BANG her and then boast to my friends what a cool dude I am?
- Do I want an HONEST, GENUINE & AUTHENTIC relationship?
- Do I want to find TRUE LOVE?
And so I came on the way of self-inquiry and -introspection.